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SOs of Survivors

A Community for the Loved Ones of Survivors

Posting Access:
All Members
This community is dedicated to the emotional support and discussion of the issues of the loved ones of survivors of sexual, physical or psychological abuse. You may be here because your friend, relative, parent, child, spouse, lover, or other important person is a survivor. You may be a survivor yourself. In this community, we use the term "SO" (significant other) fairly loosely.

This community is primarily for the support of the SO in the problems and stress that can be caused by living intimately with someone who has suffered great trauma. While there is occasionally such discussion, this is not necessarily the community for seeking advice on how to help the survivor. This space is for us.

Please keep the following rules in mind:

  • There is no such thing as a safe space. Especially not online. We'll try to keep this community as supportive as possible, but no one has the right never to be offended.
  • The moderators of this community are not mental health professionals. This community is not a substitute for therapy. Neither the moderators nor LiveJournal are responsible for advice given in this community or actions taken as a result of such advice.
  • On a similar note, threats of suicide or self-injury are not topical in this community. So please don't make them. We're not unsympathetic, but we are unqualified to handle such things safely. Asking about how to handle such things as an SO is certainly topical.
  • No flaming, please. There's enough venom in the world without us turning on each other.
  • While we have no real control over what spills out of this community, we do ask that you ask permission before excerpting from or linking to any post or comment in here.
  • Posts may contain triggers. You are not required to refrain from using certain words or engage in "splatting". Trigger warnings at the beginning of a post are probably not a bad idea, but not required - we can't be responsible for everything that might trigger every person. If you're pretty certain that a post might be extra-triggery, you might consider putting it behind an lj-cut. Triggery topics ARE allowed here - that includes topics like sexual intimacy and other related subjects.

At this time, the community is open by invite-only. If you are interested in joining, please send e-mail to tikva at livejournal dot com, with a brief explanation of why you are interested in joining (nothing in-depth, just something along the lines of, "I'd like to join because my SO is a rape survivor, and I'd like to work through my own feelings on the matter"). The invite process exists primarily to discourage trolls. We'd need a pretty good reason to keep someone out, and we'd rather have an extra person observing the community than leave someone out who might benefit from the community.

As of right now, we're keeping the "friends of" list for this community hidden. Please don't make assumptions about who is or is not in this community.

This community is moderated by tikva and gytterberg

We have all made it this far, and that is no small thing. Welcome.